disgruntled philosophy

astroboyzero @ 2005-03-01T03:07:00

2005-03-01T10:12:24Z

fuck...ignoring a person who was most likley her a year ago will probably end up bieng my only regret in life....and i have no idea why.its not like i wanna get back together with an old flame...its a lot different than that...more importaint..
dammit...i know shes around.
any way im exited for this weekend.im gonna pick up a new copy of the mannifesto,and prepare for our string of march shows...wich are mostly high profile as far as im concerned,and i can feel like im getting something done

astroboyzero @ 2005-03-01T02:50:00

2005-03-01T10:04:45Z

i spent the whole day looking for my first girlfriend,marina.i had a dream about her and woke up needing to talk to her.
in the dream ,she showed up after all theese years and we were kinda together again.we discussed how we needed to be older to be an effective couple.it turns out that we were childhood actors together,and we were gonna try to write our comeback movie.then she made fun of my guitar player at a peace rally at asu.apparently in my dream the 9-11 thing happened in arizona.i woke up the morning after our lovely reunion to find marina gone,and as i was looking for her there was a smoldering building from terrorists crashing the space shuttle columbia into a building.i finally found her at the rally and johnny showed up.he was flirtiing with her and she made a gagging face.typical.
any way i need to find her.
coming back to tempe...everyone i meet i think is someone who i knew,but they arent.they actually remind me of people from prescott.ands everyday im surrounded by the places that i had memories of.but i dont remember them.i only know that i had a memory once.
there is an older girl at work i have really taken to.
she is the only other saggitarrian i ever hung out with,only the second i met.
any way we have become close in spirit and in mind.and bieng sagitarrians,we philosophically flirt with each other.its fun.
and i had a beautiful dream where we were both paintings.just hanging on opposite walls in a museum.looking at each other like a person would look at the painting.i dont remember what i was,but maya was an impressionist scene of a venice type neighborhood at night.

astroboyzero @ 2005-03-01T02:47:00

2005-03-01T09:49:36Z

i have so much shit to say and catch up on so i can focus it all and move on but i m not going to cause i have no patience.\so fuck

enough already!!!

2005-02-20T08:44:36Z

ya know...
porn music used to actually make sence.it grooved with the fukkin.

astroboyzero @ 2004-11-03T00:20:00

2004-11-03T07:23:31Z

kill baby kill

thats the group im playing drums for....its fucking awsome.
equal parts the new york dolls
rolling stones
the stooges
white stripes...only louder and intencely hypnotic with swagger and volume

astroboyzero @ 2004-10-21T10:57:00

2004-10-21T18:00:30Z

man...how cool is it to be a consumer theese days..
with the dollar bieng at only 87 fucking cents...i feel like im getting a discount on everything,
expesially at the 97 cent store...can i have mty 10 cents back?

astroboyzero @ 2004-10-07T01:13:00

2004-10-07T08:20:09Z

slowly fixin up my drums...there gettin tasty cherry....im now itchin to play them full time...a couple months of pracice,i think i could make some cash at it...this would be most ideal.
last nights dream,cindy and i were traveling we were in colorado making our way back home.we were either walking,on a train or in a truck,it switched around.
i was on a logging car of the train looking at the scenery,a little bit of snow on the ground...it was so beautiful i started balling my ass off(the second dram in a week where i balled uncontrollably)i was apologizing to the forest and crying.
then we ended up at this bus station /diner,and i went to use the bathroom,but my penis started spinning around like a fucking celling fan on its own,and i couldnt pee but nothing would come out if i held it still.then i woke up

astroboyzero @ 2004-09-28T23:50:00

2004-09-29T06:52:16Z

found the bike im gonna save up for..
an early to mid sixties model harley sprint.
should cost around 5 grand...i can do that in a year,or after the record is out and i got the 12 string,i can get an auto loan....right now,this is the dream that keeps me goin

astroboyzero @ 2004-09-28T23:47:00

2004-09-29T06:48:54Z

crazy dream where a bullet in slow motion came at me and slowly penetrated my forehead.
it was about 3 hours in dream time...
tony vizruella...where are you?

what a world

2004-09-18T10:06:31Z

i was going to write about how every single stop light i come to is red,and everywhere i go i have to wait in a huge line because the system is down,so on and so on...but i will focus on the positive
i am writing songs that i see no reason they cant be cult classics,
i am bieng blessed with options and opprotunities to release the first subterraneans matierial in many years and i have recieved a couple messages from kids as far as michigan praising us highly,and cant wait to buy the disk.telling me im on the right track and to never give up because the subterraneans are special...one kid heard my song fire place and got inspired to write songs and is forming a band...how fucking cool is that?
i dont think i will ever hear a better compliment.
now the pressures on.its all up to me to follow through and not blow it.i cant let theese kids down.i must make this happen at all costs,and bank tellers better not be in the way of me and the money i need to put this record out.
i also ran into our old drummer shane.i saw him at the d.e.s. where he works.he has the tapes from our album we didnt put out because we broke up.i think he has a kid wich is cool but i need him now more than ever.

money burns

2004-09-15T09:28:53Z

oh shit....got an itch that i cant reach...in the form of a 12 string acoustic...will i spend the money on it and mess up my c d release plans?
had an incident with a bank teller today who refused to cash my check...520 dollars was to big he said,what the fuck are you talkin bout...i have cashed allm y checks here for 7 years...i got really pissed.the guy said they could give me a hundred and hold the cheque for 3 days.i asked him to explain why but he just kept repeating himselfi was really pissed by now and using obsenities and called the guy worthless service trash..he said it wasnt his fault...i said it fucking is his fault...he said no its not...i grabbed his tie and pulled his head over the counter and told him it is his fucking fault because i have never had to go through this untill i had to deal with him..sir we will have to call the police if you dont calm down...good,i want to report a roberry...he broke free and got my hundred dollars and said if he can do anything else...kinda scared like.i told him hes done enough for one day and i will be back in 2 days for my dough and to close the account.

naaarrrggggg

2004-09-14T08:40:43Z

just one person who plays an instrument and likes the stooges....is that too much to fucking ask?
i mean christ fucksake...how difficult is it to like the stooges...play a guitar or a drumkit and live in arizona...if i can doit why cant someone else...its not rocket surgery....
i am boiling over wih new matieral...but i alone cannot give it to he world effectively....SY DGUMCGNGY @DG@& ##C@G CY@ CYGICG CBPB@ PUICE@ PUIJ<<C@J+<C+)<C@(U)C<(U)C<@()<C@U()C<U+<CU@)C)+U< i am only 170 dollars away from manufacturing costs...this exites me the subterranean songs are doing well on the soundclick charts...i cant wait to have some disks. and im making decent diy contacts to get my solo shit around and circulated...tain says its space folk....so there you go. im thinking of calling it the secret police.. not that it matters cause i DONT HAVE ANYONE TO FUCKING PLAY WITH!!!!! its eating me alive/.....im a fucking performer...when i dont perform...i go fucking ballistic. i need a road trip....a musical journey.but i dont see it happening anytime soon

1 29 am

2004-09-11T08:32:54Z

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THE DEGREDATION OF MY mental state continues...if not sped up
but i continue to hide it well and no one will ever know

illblbjlkblilbiLGbi:L

2004-09-10T18:52:46Z

i haave ben working very hard at work...very long weeks
i have ben working extreemly hard on music,writing and recording demos 5 so0ngs a day and onl ykeeping one and a half....leave me the fuckalone.i am in a dark place.thats what productivity does to me.my state of mind is horrendous.
i have violent dreams and thrash all night,eventully waking up for good and realising i laid down only 4 hours ago
one dream,a guy played by gabriel byrne pumped my throat full of bullets...it felt soooo wierd,blood and bullets rolloing around in my throat,swishing up to my ears.then i passed out,i thought i was dead,and in my dream i was asleep for a long time.
then i woke up in the dream,still alive,and i had to tell some one that gabriel byrne shot me 3 times in the neck,and that it feels fuckin creepy an shit
so i wandered around in the woods bleeding and talking funny to myself,because the holes affected my speech and i wanted to hear it

double what the fuck

2004-08-28T09:04:12Z

why am i getting credit card offers whilest the credit companys are suing me?
if your driving on the FREEWAY and get pulled over by HIGHWAY patrol...dont ask him if he even has jurisdiction

pol pot roast!!!!!!!

2004-08-09T06:57:12Z

i mean what the fuck.
i really have nothing valid to talk about...i guess im feeling a little un validated
life dont change...people dont change....
so where does all this change come from?
i got like 40 dollars in change,wich is good because all my monet mysteriously dissapearrers
i wish i knew if my boss was serious or not when i showed up to work...he was raging drunk,and had blood on his shirt....shouting FUCK!!!!!!
the look on his face was half desperate,half joking
something about him shooting someone in his house
he had a feeling he was going to jail....
oh well.
it will blow over,because its either a put on....or too fucked up to take seriously.
isnt there a a statute of limitations on murder? i asked.
hes the kind of guy who will fuck with you by making you believe he doesnt fuck with people.....
hes also the kind of guy to give me a 20 dollar bonus right after he snorted an 8 ball through it....
i kinda relate,depends on the vibe i get from a person at first...i will make them believe in my sincerity just to fuck with them
i cut my hair...i feel like a back woods fat ass euro fag....my head looks way too small to me.like when beetleguise got his head shrunk
i feel like im standing in line to get into limbo.
its too late for me to listen to melt bananna and get super pissed.
im never going to realize my dreams because i need to rely on other people for them to come to fruition....the rest of my life will be spent trying to come to terms with this....
its not like i can just go join a band and rock out...its pointless to me
i will probably dislike the music..i have tried to reply to musicians ads,but i hear thier songs and i cant justify getting in touch with them.or if i do its just one big flake out phone tag session
it would be fun for a couple months then the boredom would set in and i would leave..having wasted even more time,just like my time is always bieng wasted
oh well....im off to fucking obliterrate yot another week of my life with nothingness cause i have to go to alaska...where the opprotunities to aclompish anything are fucking zero.
and i get to live off my savings again setting me back in the cd duplication fund...
but just listening to sonic youth seems to make it better...for the duration of the album...i am enjoying art...and i forget that i am longing to make records myself....
they make it all better...and there is no reason for desperation...because they have spoken for me...
i mean,what could i possibly hope to gain in the wake of thier existence.....
oh yeah ( the record ends)....i dont wanna change deep fryers for the rest of my life.

thats the sweat...of the blues explosion

2004-07-20T05:17:49Z

man i am drained..
started working on the guitar symphony i have dreamed about since i started playing....it was hot in the garage...and i covered the floor in sweat....and i totally thrashed the jagmaster...im in for another night of repairs...i hope it wont be too derivitave...its coming out like instrumental sonic youth,because of the tunings,but with pink floyd,trail of dead percussion.
i have a major glenn branca\lamonte young influence hanging over me..and everytime in the past i have tried to do something out of the rock idiom,some group with enough money to get noticed "beats me to it"
i have had to trash so many ideas because of that shit...i need to get a grant so i can perform this live...that would just knock this fucking stoopid town on its ass....3 dissonantly intonated guitars pumping through the stratosphere...hopefully a cello player...a overdriven bass for drones...and some over dramatic percussion...at hyperspeed...a piano would be nice as well...tuned as low as possible

bloody wankers!!!!

2004-07-13T23:09:13Z

so my 8 month reign of unemployment is over...
my only regret is that i could not milk my former employers for everything i could...i still had over a grand worth of unemployment insurance...and those rich fucks at the hassayampa inn deserve to support me for the rest of my life after what they put me through.
but i am at casey moores now...and its not for the weak.i dont suspect i will have to let anyone assert corprate domminance over me...survival here comes down to cunning and brute force...my kind of kitchen.
we will see how gnarly it gets when the students (another group of people who i gennerally have contempt for,with a couple exeptions) get back from thier little vacation and fuck up my utopia of fire and knives.
but its true that good work is the drive of mans spirit...when i didnt have to work...i did nothing....i got fat...sure i worked on the record for about 3 hours a day...but when i have a job,all my spare time is devoted to music.
i didnt want to exercise...
now i have the drive to practice savate again,so i have ben doing prelimminary stretches and workouts...
and working keeps my souls intellect active...keeps me motivated to be aware of how shitty the lower class has it,and i am fuelled to keep up on current affairs,and to re read the worlds history.
one of my hobbies is western economics,i am not articulate enough to peacefully argue my points,wich is a shame because i have a wealth of knowledge to be shared.
but i am no longer a lazy bum and i feel great...aside from my back....but that doesnt matter as much to me as doing what i can about nafta

my sharona

2004-07-13T06:19:56Z

does anyone know of an active marxist revolutionary group?
i would like to join.
i am the peoples artist....dammit
aside from an odd and 2 ends...i can say the new subterraneans record is finished...
and i am very proud of my work on it.it sounds indie professional,but not produced...somewhere between a who album and an early stereolab disk....
my greatist work yet...and it has me feeling almost enthusiastic for the future...if any one wants to play drums....let me know

products i would like to see...vol 1

2004-07-03T05:24:28Z

i think a clockwork orange colorforms would be wikkid ...do you guys remember shrinky dinks?
i became very emotional when i fucked up my e.t.shrinky dink...as a child
an entire barbarella home set is something i would buy...curtains ,sheets,jammies,(expecially the last 2)potholders..bathwares and such.a james bond martini set to cap the evening off
and i definetly want a portable game device that plays atari cartriges
if theese items ever matierialize...i will believe in capitalism

ty eq45y 642

2004-07-03T00:25:49Z

i am completely uninterested in religion whatsoever,i believe in taoist ideals,but you dont need to be religious in the comfort that the universe will do whatever the fuck it wants to,and if i want to go against that,then im fucked
i saw a jesus fish swallowing a darwin fish and i wondered,what if darwin stumbled upon the way god works,and that christians are jealous.
here is my reasoning that from a completly objective standpoint,the whole thing just seems meaningless
biology...any sane christian knows that if your semen penetrates at the right time ,you have a child.
in order to believe in creationism in this light,you would have to believe that your semen is only a beakon,a spiritual light that god can see and then honors your request by magicly planting a child in your partner.
this nullifies the immaculate conception,because it would be the standard.
.
if this were the case,every single child would pretty much look the same.so obviously biology comes into play...genepools and dna and all that shit.i have never seen shit magicly appear,but i can see my body change and grow with time.it seems that if i had e few million years to do so,i would be a copletly different species.
a jehovas? witness told me once that there was no water on earth.theyre was a cloud of moisture in our aptmosphere that god relesed and made it rain for 40 days,i wonder how noah and all the life on earth survived for billions of years with out water.
we all know that it rains because moisture evaporates and the vapours converge and form clouds,we can see this happen...its not up for dispute

more of the same

2004-07-02T20:00:52Z

i just saw a commercial for dhl shipping....
it fucking thrills me to no end that if i send a package through dhl rather than ups or fed ex...it will arrive 26.7 seconds sooner than the competition.
theese are the freedoms in america that we take take for granted...the benifets of capitalist democracy far exeed my expectations,and ui am truly proud to live in the land of the overnight delivery.god bless our troops who give thier lives so i can priority mail.
at least the soldiers in our army and the package shippers of america recieve steady paychecks.
do i smell a conspiracy?it just dawned on me that they take our jobs away so we will have no choice but to inlist in the military..
and then be the sole property of the state,and if there is too many of us,they can legally thin out the numbers by shipping us off to test bullets in chechnya or someother place where a pipeline is planned.
thats not only great population controll,but dissention controll as well.

the rat race

2004-07-02T19:43:14Z

i really like watching these presidential campaign speeches...
you have 2 prime examples of the men who encourage buisness to lay off workers and moove operations over seas to net a higher profit,so that the buisness will have more cash to give to a campaign fund for a buisness man to run for office so he can protect the companys interests.
you have theese 2 men criticizing the job market...
ohhhh geee the market is changing(no shit,you changed it all the way to bangledesh),we dont need a boom in job growth ,we need a steady strong growth like we have now(yes,i know its my patriotic duty to be out of work for 8 more months...maybe i should consider finding one 4 hour a week job a month,assholes)
welcome to the new economy where we should be greatful for any scraps we are handed,after working so hard just to be alive

steves going to teach himself a lesson

2004-07-02T19:13:49Z

the people say you cant know everything
well i beg to differ.
the internet now makes it possible to know everything.
if your like me,a self professed know it all who is constantly bieng snidely reffered to as a fucking know it all....the internet is a valuable tool of research,a gateway into the present,that we would normally miss out on.
where you can know everything thats happining right this moment...like the new york lottery just this moment went up to 260 million dollars....most people will not know about this untill nightfall,
but i know better.
earlier this morning i was among the first people in the world to hear sound transmissions from saturns rings....i feel honored

you know what your problem is?

2004-07-01T07:51:50Z

thats a statement i have heard many times in my life...
you know what your problem is jason.....
no,maybe i dont...why dont you enlighten me...
your problem is you think too much..

excuse me?what?
how is that a problem
my thoughts have gotten me out of more trouble than i have been in.
i often dont think of much,but i think alot of it
such as i had a conversation on the phone with my buddy the petester...he is an older crazy man,who spent his childhood at c.b.g.b's...and hes got a million stories about the ramones...richard hell...wayne jayne county...hes just a cool guy and i miss living in the same town as him...so any way
we had a rousing conversation.

and then later as i was discussing it with some one else,it dawned on me that i was talking about a conversation.....i didnt know what to do with this thought...my brain flashed every time i have had a conversation about a conversation,many times while drunk...and i get the feeling i was trying to reaffirm my own thoughts with others while i was doing this....that somehow it was all about how great something i said to another person was,and i needed people to know about how clever or articulate i was.
i think its fascinating...like the head bob thing.
i noticed an increase i the volume of peoples voices as they talk about something they said...not did or thought but said...people become so fucking proud of themselves for saying something interesting in front of others...
to me its just more proof that we have lost our spontenaiety and immagination as a species.we have almost reached specialization....so why grow...its not like we need to find a way to get the fruit from the tree..nor do we need to invent words any more.so we sit in front of the t.v.and have our words spoken for us...in the form of sitcoms i have found my self thinking that i will use whatever so and so said if i encounter such and such situation...so there,my daily diologue is laid before me,my thoughts thought for me,and my own ideas shoved down my throat before i had them.
i will stop now